YA LEUM.13 — Khop Tchai, Wel and family. Goodbye Laos
For my surprise, the island was quiet and immediately felt empty. Soon I realized it was still too early for businesses to be opened. I felt I was already half through the day…
Don Khon is a relatively small island, about 4 km x 3km, known to be quieter and with little party comparing with Don Det island. You get around by foot or motorbike on unpaved roads. It is easy to have the feeling of an authentic island.
My new friends found a place right in the beginning of the island. I decided to go elsewhere cheaper. I walked around with my backpack to check out the island a bit and search for a place.
I walked in and out of some places, prices and the types of the guesthouses were just about the same. I have had a good experience doing a volunteering exchange in a guest house in Luang Prabang, so I thought that could be an idea to repeat since I was planning to stay long.
After 20 minutes walking around, I got in Nok Noi Guesthouse. It was an empty and clean place, by the river. Try to guess which river…? Mekong! Mekong river everywhere.
The guesthouse was also a restaurant, something common in most of guesthouses in Southeast Asia. These restaurants/guesthouses are usually run by families, that often leave inside of the guesthouse or just close by.
A nice and calm man came from the kitchen asking with two English words if I wanted to have lunch at the restaurant. I asked whether they had the option to exchange work for accommodation since I was planning to stay two or three weeks. He did not understand.
So, I sat with him for 30 minutes and did drawings to explain the idea. He did drawings back. Still, we could not make ourselves understood.
He really tried hard to understand what I was trying to say, he even called someone on the phone to talk to me and translate. All the attempts of communication were not successful.
No problem, I liked him, and I loved the place.
The guesthouse had a peaceful view over the river, a tidy restaurant area with a place to chill and the room had a terrace with a hammock to chill. I decided to stay.
All travelers talk about trusting your instinct. Before starting traveling, I heard a lot about intuition and gut feeling. Although I finally consider myself a sensitive person, I had a lot of troubles to understand the concept of intuition. As an enthusiastic thinker, I used to get hooked in understanding the real meaning of concepts. I grew up in an environment where I must learn to ask the right questions, to get the right answers. I tried to deepen my understanding of intuition — where is it coming from? What is the role of intuition in society? What is line that divides intuition from analyzing patterns?
I do not have answers.
I do not know if I can explain the concept from my perspective.
But when I had to pick the place to stay, I quickly decided the moment I saw him making the drawing.
I prefer to call it the urge, rather than the intuition.
Before I would analyze the pros and cons of the situation, the price, location, type of facilities…
This time just felt right, as travelers say.
I got the room key and made myself comfortable.
The place was quiet and there were not many guests since we were in low season. My best tip — travel in low season, always!
I felt sad for them since the business was not booming. However, I was happy to be in such a paradisiac place to recharge my batteries, lay on the hammock and catch up with some work that was already pilling.
I hired a small hut enough for two people and I could enjoy a double bed. I used to sit in my small terrace writing or go to the restaurant area to work and have lunch.
The restaurant menu was affordable and quite good. They had just a few guests in the guesthouse and during lunch or dinner some people would show up for a meal.
My Austrian friends took a few days to rest completely in their guesthouse, then I invited them to come over Nok Noi to have lunch and hangout.
I started spending long periods alone.
Boredom is a place I strive to find within myself. I fail to reach that state often, since I am caught up in my own demands. Being bored was one of my top goals in this trip, I almost reached it here in Don Khon…
When I am bored, I can stare.
For me, there is not staring without contemplation.
And, with contemplation comes reflection.
Then, news ideas appear. I see new perspectives. My mind evolves.
And, I transform along.
Sometimes, I was just there. Writing on my notebook, working on my laptop, looking to the Mekong, reading, having lunch, having dinner, contacting friends…and the wife of the man I met in the first day, would offer me a plate of pineapple or would share something delicious that they have cooked.
This happened a few times until they invited me to join their table to eat.
Around the table, there were always the same four people: Wel and her husband, their son and one girl around 17 years-old helping in the guesthouse.
We could not communicate. Nobody could speak a word of English, I could not say nothing in Lao besides Khop Tchai (thank you); but that did not stop us to be around each other.
I would still order most of my meals there, besides a few times I wanted to try other restaurants. Still, there were moments I just had finished my meal at their restaurant, and then they would invite me to join their own meal.
We were mostly alone in the guesthouse. I felt I was living with them, because they would just see me, and I would just see them.
They always approached me kindly and with an ease, making sure I was comfortable and happy there.
At some point, I asked them if they needed some help in the kitchen. I was not feeling bored, or nothing of that kind, but I felt a bit silly walking around as a guest and not contributing to that place. At the end of the day, it was just the five of us, even though I was happy to bring them some business, it would not cost me a thing to give a hand. Either way, I always saw my mother promptly giving a hand to people, regardless the context.
First, they said no. Then, I said it would be a good way to learn some Lao cooking. They accepted.
So, I started being more involved in their lives.
Still, we could not communicate.
We smiled at each other, used loads of gestures, and tried to google translate. However, even Mr. google did not help too much this time.
At this point, my Austrian friends who were still showing up at Nok Noi to have a meal and drink some beers, decided to move to Nok Noi guesthouse. I think they were not enjoying something in their room and the owner.
That was cool.
My Austrian friends used to chill all day, ordering beers, and hanging around. Sometimes, I would join them, other times I would be in the kitchen cutting vegetables or doing the dishes.
My highlight was bringing the dishes to customer’s table. That, I really enjoyed! The Austrians were not quite understanding why in a moment I was having a beer with them and other times I would join the family for dinner.
They found the situation cute, but never really said anything.
Sometimes, some Lao people would show up at Nok Noi to cheer and hang out with the family.
Slowly, the Austrians started engaging with the family too. So, after the family’s dinner, where I was already part of it almost every day, the Austrians would join the table, along with the Laos guest.
The friends of the family could speak some English, that made things easier.
Then, I met one of the other guests who was also a solo traveler, Tania, who also joined this small fiesta. We later decided to travel together.
Although I was part of some of their routine, I was also still doing all my other things.
One of the ideas for my world journey, besides trying to be bored, was to shoot a home-made documentary on the topic Love — how do I see it. The year before I studied a lot about the impact of people’s beliefs in their lives. So, why not recording “what do people do for love?
So far, I have filmed the stories of Raimund and Kewarin. Since then, I had no plan to film anything. I have not found a story or someone who I felt the urge to interview.
Until, I had an epiphany.
This is what Wel and the family do for love. They open the doors to a stranger who is alone, to make them feel home.
Even if it was always in silence.
I brought my cameras out and with gestures, I asked Wel if I could film them.
At the end, I really wanted them to understand what I was doing. So, I walked around the island to ask if someone could translate to Wel what I was doing.
Someone from another guesthouse came over and explained.
Which Wel answered,
“No problem she filmed. She reminds us our daughter who is studying alone in Vientiane. We did for her what we hope strangers would do for our own daughter. I hope she continues safely with travels and one day she will come back”.
July, 2017
Patricia Assis
